Good morning. (And a special Guten Morgen! to our new German friends from Spreeblick.de and popnutten.de) I hope the week is shaping up well for you so far. Today's Monster is clearly a creature that knows more about the dark side of life than I do. Who do you think he's on the lookout for? Or is somebody following him? What's this guy's story? Do you think he would be suprised to learn that 344 LOVES YOU?

P.S.: You must check out Simon's brilliant comment on this Monster. A new standard has been set!


  • 7 December 2006 1:47 am

    Well I think it’s quite obvious. This is Fada Cripness, the dark lesser-known twin brother of Santa. According to Laplandish folk law, when the twins were born, Santa, despite being 186 seconds younger than Fada, quickly established himself as the favourite to become heir to the family heirlooms of cape and sack and supersonic sleigh.
    With Santa getting all the attention from his parents and the elves as they taught him the family business Fada found himself alone with his anger. It was after the incident with the cemented in chimney that Fada was banished to the Reindeer stables where he learnt the dark skills. Which he put to devastating effects in 1793. Skilfully hushed up by Rudolf, the legend of Father Christmas survived but to prevent it ever happening again Fada was sealed into the Caves of Waddau. Where he remained until this year when, rumour has it, a careless pot-holer accidentally facilitated his escape.
    Unfortunately, this year will not be a very merry Christmas, for any of us.

  • 7 December 2006 1:57 am

    HOT DAMN!!! Simon Darwell Taylor off to an absolutely massive start! Hells! Jingle! Bells! Nice job, Simon! But I’d expect nothing less from a planner with mash-ups on his mind: http://simondarwelltaylor.typepad.com/hbmblog/2006/12/toy_story_requi.html
    OK, everybody. Are you going to let Simon walk away with this in the first 60 minutes of this post? Show me what you got!

  • 7 December 2006 2:03 am

    Yeah, bring it on! Following such lovely comments I shall be happy to add a back story every day for as long as you do the monsters – should you so wish. It’s up to you. Just don’t call me a planner, I’m no planner. Oh and thanks for much pleasure.

  • 7 December 2006 2:29 am

    Oh, I’m sorry. I saw Britain. I saw advertising. My mind jumped right to “planner.” Preconceptions. Blindspots. The befuddlement of late hours. My apologies, Simon. And yes, do please add back stories as the monsters emerge. I can’t wait.

  • 7 December 2006 4:43 am

    Thanks for the greetings and keep up the lovely work! And Guten Morgen to you, too. 🙂

  • 7 December 2006 9:03 am

    Hey man.
    pretty nice stuff here… good idea and nice way of presenting it. 🙂 being creative sure is fun (I know since i make music and draw and do stuff…. )
    keep up the good work and I will check back to see more monsters… of course
    Have a nice day and cheers

  • Justin
    7 December 2006 10:25 am

    Ye gods! IT MOVES.

  • Andrew
    7 December 2006 3:15 pm

    Ha… Santa’s evil twin…. that’s a good one, but there’s no such thing as Santa Claus.
    This guy’s name is Wally Farbligast, a third shift janitor at Jensine’s Den of Toenail-Related Sin. Being a monster, you have to take the jobs you can get, but the perverse excesses at Jensine’s have taken their toll on old Wally, and I think he’s grown a bit cynical. Wally can spot a toenail chewer from a mile away, and let me tell you, he’s hip to their tricks this time.

  • 8 December 2006 7:52 am

    Holy Shit, you´re great!!

  • sue bebie
    7 April 2008 3:16 am

    Hubert der Gartenzwerg ist völlig niedergeschlagen. Wegen seiner nicht zu verheimlichenden Gewichtszunahme und mit der für einen Zwerg unüblichen Grösse, droht ihm der Rausschmiss aus der Gartenzwerggilde. Seine Zipfelmütze wurde bereits eingezogen, was ihm am meisten zusetzt. Er kann einem leid tun. Die für alle sichtbare Fleischkappe und die drohende Arbeitslosigkeit beuteln ihn arg.

  • 30 June 2008 8:38 pm

    Geeze, turn him one way he’s adorably cheeky, turn him the other and he’s a scowling jellyfish. I love it. XD

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