DAILY MONSTER 24



Good morning and a special welcome to those of you visiting from newstoday.com. First things first: Have you looked at yesterday's stories from Simon, Sam, and Andrew? Hard to pick a favorite among three great tales of academia gone wrong. Severed and swapped limbs, unruly undergraduates, and Hematology as applied to Mexican Food! Well done, gentlemen! Well done, indeed!

Now, on to No.24. A dancer? A prancer? A stylish romancer? A member of the Ministry of Silly Walks? Or just a pedestrian avoiding puddles? Laura, what kind of music is this one listening to? We need the soundtrack and we're counting on you! Where is 24 headed anyway? A night on the town? If so, which town? So many questions! Please tell me what you think! (And don't let Simon, Sam, or Andrew's fine yarns stop you from adding one of your own, either! One of the best things about this experiment is how many different stories come together for one creature!)

And if you know my friend Jed, who is himself a strange and brilliant creature, please wish him a Happy Birthday! 344 loves him. And of course 344 LOVES YOU

19 Comments

  • 12 December 2006 5:10 am

    This is of course, THE Lassi Laski, Waldo Gritti’s (Monster 21) unrequited love interest. Possibly one of the most evil choreographers ever born.
    She was born to Austrian nobility and schooled by private tutor in an impossibly beautiful castle. Her early years had been perfect, some say too perfect. At 4 she was given a 137 piece Wedgewood tea set. At 5, a pony. At 8 she was taken to her first ballet, The Nutcracker Suite and she became hooked. From that day onwards she knew what she wanted to become, a ballet dancer, a great ballet dancer, the best ballet dancer the world had ever seen.
    Count Laski, her father pulled some strings, applied a little political pressure and killed Count Preud in a dual to ensure that she got a place at the Salzburg International Ballet Academy.
    Lassi worked hard, harder than any one there, harder than anyone had ever worked at the Academy, but unfortunately she had zero talent. Eventually Count Laski’s dualing could protect her no longer and she was asked to leave.
    Sinking in depression, Lassi started to hang out with a bad crowd, one of whom was a weird vegetarian painter called Adolf. And it was that chance encounter that changed history, for as we know Lassi several years later she became the official choreographer for the Nazi party and inventor of the Storm Trooper Goose Step March.

  • 12 December 2006 6:25 am

    uh-oh, animation? looks like this monster is raising the bar…looking forward to what’s next!

  • 12 December 2006 8:11 am

    Awesome as always.
    And I really like the sound of your pencil moving over the paper 🙂 Does that make me a freak? 😉

  • 12 December 2006 8:22 am

    Though hands are missing
    Zula knows to keep kicking
    The show must go on

  • 12 December 2006 8:51 am

    I like the new intro.
    In lieu of describing the hitman from yesterday…
    Caroline always wanted a pony, and being that it was near Christmas she thought maybe her time had come. She ignored the fact that her parents said they couldn’t afford a horse, the upkeep and the riding lessons. She didn’t understand why they kept talking about getting her a turtle – a turtle is nothing like a horse! You can’t ride a turtle, brush its hair and feed it apples!
    It came to a head on December 12th. During dinner Caroline kept talking about names for the horse, and what colors she wanted him (she wanted a boy horse, they are bigger) to be. She didn’t notice the glances her parents passed over the peas.
    Caroline’s parents sat her down on the couch in the living room. They calmly explained to her that she would not he getting a horse, and they brought out a turtle and said this would be her new pet. They asked her what she would name the turtle. Her lip quivered, and tears shot from her eyes like only a broken hearted little girl can.
    She locked herself in her room, ignoring the pleas of her parents. She stared in the mirror just crying and mumbling, “i don’t want a turtle i want a horse i don’t WANT a turtle I WANT a HORSE.” She didn’t notice the mirror star to ripple through her tears, but she saw the flash. And the half-turtle, half-horse stepped through.

  • 12 December 2006 8:52 am

    It’s a weird thing, but I was contemplating a poem for Monster 24 too, Sam.

  • 12 December 2006 8:55 am

    Sorry I meant, markus who did the poem wasn’t it

  • 12 December 2006 9:00 am

    It was me. I just had a feeling a poem was called for on this one. I like the new intro as well. Great stories btw Simon. I love the details.

  • Keith McCord
    12 December 2006 9:03 am

    Stefan-
    Like the new intro, but no 344? Outrageous!

  • Andrew
    12 December 2006 10:39 am

    Simon, I’d say Ms. Laski’s story is my favorite that you’ve written so far (the one for 22 is an indestinguishably close second), a tip of the cap to you sir!
    This is Hernán Luís Salamenejandro, the tango dancing, lightly prancing, androgynous, Argentinian master of love… What’s your phone number, mi amor? Oh… Hernán already has it. Don’t be mad, guys, he’s seen your girlfriend naked, and that’s just something you’re going to have to be cool with.
    Seriously, how a guy with no arms gets more dates than me, I’ll never know. Maybe it’s the accent, or the musk, or the 48.6 million dollars he acquired after suing the pants off the world wildlife foundation when an abnormally large small-mouth bass made a snack out of his arms on a fishing trip last july. Whatever the case may be, this guy likes the ladies, and they seem to like him back.

  • Andrew
    12 December 2006 10:41 am

    Oh, and Mogabog, that’s hilarious.

  • Amy
    12 December 2006 1:20 pm

    well isnt he just adorable…
    i picture this fella as the mascot for his town’s professional women’s soccer team… galloping up and down the sidelines holding a huge spirit sign in his mouth… the hairs from his back dyed an array of colors like the feather’s of an indian chief’s headdress.

  • 12 December 2006 1:40 pm

    Cheers Andrew, enjoying yours too.

  • LAURA
    12 December 2006 2:12 pm

    Today’s song isssssss
    Mr. Lucky by Vince Guaraldi
    Monster 24 will be toe-tapping to this song all night long.

  • Rose
    12 December 2006 5:31 pm

    That one prom date that you rejected and left crying on the ballroom floor knows how to get her groove on. Oh yes.
    Possibely… Ms. Slimey the toe-tapping tap dancer?
    With a hairdo by Spongebob!
    Love the new intro.

  • 13 December 2006 1:20 am

    Markus: I love the strange marker noises, too.
    If loving Sharpie Squeaks is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right!

  • 13 December 2006 4:01 am

    haha. i was just thinking of how i could record your sharpie sounds so i could loop it and fall asleep to it…so soothing…

  • Andrew
    21 December 2006 8:52 pm

    Oh, and I posted on Simon’s blog to see where in the world he went to…

  • sue bebie
    9 April 2008 8:47 am

    Die Haare im Wind
    klappert das Rind
    Pferd geht des Reimes wegen schlecht)
    Es dreht eine Runde
    macht plié ne Stunde
    Kriegt Zucker zwei Stück
    und wiehert vor Glück

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