DAILY MONSTER 38
Good morning. Thank you for checking in. I hope you’re having a day of excellent and uneventful holiday digestion. I hope that wherever you work, you’re getting time off between the holidays. I’ve got two books waiting for me this week and I hope I’ll actually get to read them, too. (They are Moab is My Washpot and Don’t Get Too Comfortable, in case you’re curious.) I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
Victoria and first-time contributor/long-time 344 friend Azalea both feel that Monster 37 went so crazy flying around the globe, delivering gifts that he grew two extra eyes. Which is pretty crazy. I’ve been really stressed at times, but I’ve never grown more than a few extra fingers and half of an extra spleen. Four eyes? That guy clearly needs a vacation. Azalea ups the stakes, though, and says that 37 started bleeding from his eyes, too. Which is disturbing in a very Catholic Virgin Mary sort of way. Maybe it’s the fumes from his tar beard? “More on that later,” says Azalea. I should hope so! Talk about a cliffhanger! Thank you for posting, Azalea. I’m looking forward to seeing more stories from you in the days to come.
Stephanie forwarded us words straight from the creature’s mouth. (It’s always good to get a first-hand account.) Turns out that 37 has powerful laser eyes, but likes to keep that fact hidden. Wise choice, I think. Stephanie’s monster also sounds a bit like Ali G., but that might just be my take on his accent. I’m sure his lip fronds must make proper enunciation somewhat difficult.
Schlockading continues his story from yesterday. Apparently, 37 is the post-volcanic radioactive mutation of 36. Which makes perfect sense! It also explains why his hat is so stretched out. After all, this isn’t Marvel Comics where David Banner’s pants mysteriously grow with him to Hulk size.
Sam B. reports of Quadro, who got LEDs implanted in his eyes to distract himself from his thwarted holiday ambitions. How much do you want to bet, Sam, that somebody’s going to come up with that very operation in the next 10 years? It’ll be the grillz of 2017.
An extra cheer goes to Schlockading’s mom, who put together a Daily Monster Kit (just like this one) as a Christmas gift for the Schlockster. Hats off! Good job, Mom! Schlockading, please send me a link to some of the monsters you cook up and I’ll post them here.
Now, on to Monster 38. Something is making all these monster eyes go crazy. Maybe it’s something in the water? Or is 38 actually bobbing along on a lake made of some alien liquid? What does it eat? Can it fly? Can it walk? Can it discuss Hegelian philosophy? Or the trade deficit of Zanzibar? What do you think? I’d love to hear your theories!
I’ll leave you with this final thought for the day: Studies have shown that nothing you eat between now and the New Year will make you gain weight! Have a great, short week! And remember: 344 LOVES YOU
P.S.: Like ships passing in the night, Crimson posted a continuation of the Tale of the Arctic Shadow Imp while I was writing my nightly story round-up. As it turns out, the pain of Santa’s stubbed tow rewired his nerves into making his eyes flash red. Instead of causing Santa pian, that is. Santa doesn’t have time for that kind of thing. (He also has moral stereo vision! That’s a new feature!)
Also rolling in just now: The return of The Respected Taxonomist Kukuttan! Would you look at that? It’s like a present that hid itself all the way by the base of the tree, back there in the shadows. Good to have you back, TRTK! And you come bearing a truly different point of view! 37 isn’t a monster, it’s a house! A most peculiar house in a most peculiar location. Do check out the story.
TRTK also challenges the recent direction of the monsters, their seeming transition to more and more humanoid forms. Monster 38 should put that worry to rest. Monsters are made of Id Ink. They manifest however they feel like manifesting. I’m just there to film the event.
Oh, lest I forget to mention it: A few of you commented on the P’uh! sound. I’m glad to know I’m not alone in remembering it. TRTK posted a link to a sound file that is not the P’uh sound, but includes something very close. Beyond that, it’s very funny in it’s own right. It also startled my girlfriend’s cat Mavis, who had been and is now once again sleeping next to me. Good night, Mavis! Good night, y’all!
One more late night addition: I just received a message from monster lurker Victoria, who posted a lovely paragraph on the site at her blog. More importantly, she made an excellent drawing of herself watching the monsters. Thank you, Victoria! Victoria also does some very nifty stop motion animation. Take a look!