DAILY MONSTER 47



Good morning. How are you? I hope the first day back at work wasn't too big of a drag after the holidays. It certainly seems to have spurred you into submitting stories for yesterday's monster.

Markus, Bob, Aspid Istra, and Ya-Ya all posted funny names for Monster 46, while Inanna got political! I hope the Democrats will, indeed, display the slightly manic, anti-gravitational can-do spirit of Monster 46. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Terry T. sends a dispatch from the Day After New Year's Day Parade in Weippe, Idaho. Monster 46 is a parade balloon! How could I have missed it? The Daily Monsters emerge from a spot only a few minutes walk away from the Rose Parade route here in Pasadena. I never realized that some of the annual parade energy had seeped into my ink well. Thank you for another lovely tale, Terry.

Incidentally, I've always been a bit of a killjoy, avoiding the parade and the merciless invasion of tourists into the neighborhood. And now I'm paying the price: As it turns out, this year's parade featured a float from Oklahoma... starring the Flaming Lips! To see Wayne Coyne cruising down Colorado Blvd. might've been worth the crush of people.

Speaking of superheroes, Schlockading unmasks Monster 46 as none other than Flying Donkman, an airborne crime fighter who leaves a horse show as his calling card! Nice job, Schlockading!

Brandon gives us a scale adjustment and re-classifies Number 46 as a Tiny Horse Monster---so tiny, in fact, that it occasionally gets picked up by a gust of wind. I like that! You know that spring is in the air when the Tiny Horse Monsters are, too.

Finally, Sam B. shows once again that he has a kind heart by adopting this strange gift horse despite that fact that it's obviously a little bit psychotic. It's a mad. mad, mad, mad pony, and you're a good man, Samuel Berkes.

Monster 47 looks like it, too, might know the gentle caress of lunacy. What's making this one flash such a toothy grin? Is it on the prowl? Is it flirting? Applying for a loan? Or are its teeth stuck together after wolfing down some extra-gooey leftover taffy? I'm looking forward to reading your stories! By sea, or land, or air: 344 LOVES YOU

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One final note: The great Mogabog is leaving us to our own devices for a few days, so he can prepare for his admissions exams. Please join me in sending some excellent test taking vibes his way! GOOD LUCK, Mogabog! Knock'em dead!

7 Comments

  • 3 January 2007 5:01 am

    So that’s what screaming eagle shit looks like!

  • Amy
    3 January 2007 10:20 am

    definitely a prehistoric monster if i ever saw one… and belive me, i have 😉

  • 3 January 2007 10:24 am

    Da says I oughtn’t smile like I do. He says a good monster doesn’t ever, ever smile. But if I didn’t smile, no one would ever see what’s caught between my teeth, and then how would they know what I’ve eaten? Das always think that good monsters shouldn’t have any fun, don’t you think? Today’s repast was a wee bairn of a giant. Bone-crunching-liscious it was, and don’t you think a monster ought to smile at such a meal?
    —-
    Was in LA for the hols. Pasadena is one of my favorite towns in the whole wide world and home of the gorgeous Huntington Gardens, where they’ve got an original copy of Blake’s Songs of Innocence, did you know that? Happy New Year!

  • 3 January 2007 2:39 pm

    They head for the western forests this time of year. It’s safer there. Hunter attacks being rare within crowded patches of nature. The trees provide more security to raise their young. It’s an opportunity to regroup and try to reclaim their dwindling specie. One might suppose it’s natural selection. Survival of a fitter breed, perhaps, that has reduced the population. The forest helps, though. Much of their habitats were destroyed when the first hunters arrived. The natural strength of the great trees in the western regions withstand much of the progression. During the rainy season, travel back to the eastern plains provides more food resources and lessened hunter attacks.
    The younger and stronger play without concern on one of the larger trees. An adolescent challenges his siblings to a contest to travel from one branch to another of a different tree. An easy game, and a good method to build agility and confidence. Several hops from branch to branch can be quite entertaining. A good means to pass the time before having to forage. And then they hear it. The cackle of a hunter. The wicked, terrifying chatter. Another responds. And yet another. The trees come alive with anxiety and fright. Many hope they won’t be seen and cling to the branches heavily covered in foliage. Others scatter deeper into the forest. The hunters’ sounds grow louder.
    The much larger hunters, up to six-times in size comparably, crash through the forest canopy with deafening speed. Their cackling calls rattling through their toothed grins. Though their claws seem small, given their body size, they are more than adequate at snatching up their prey. The smaller hunters follow suit, traveling in the wake of the damaged canopy to enter the forest. They fly through the forest, checking branches and the earth below for their meal. Attacks on the forest are rare, but when they happen, they are calculated and organized. Several people who didn’t take shelter are spotted immediately and whisked away to their doom. Others huddle together in heavy cover and survive the wave of carnage.
    In this land of giant, winged nightmares, humans find an unfortunate place on the food chain.

  • 3 January 2007 6:31 pm

    this looks like a bird/lizard mix. maybe there was this one time where the budweiser lizard got really drunk one night and slept with this pigeon who was a prostitute.
    anyways, the result is this thing that has a bird’s body, but a lizard’s head. mercessly mocked by both species, he eventually ends up finding a community of people/animals/things that embrace oddity and individualistic individuals — the circus.
    aside from being part of the freak show, he also gets to fly beneath the seats and rafters to eat all the candy and popcorn that people drop.

  • 3 January 2007 7:45 pm

    Thanks Stefan! I think I’m in pretty good shape. I made sure I was writing here as much as a could to practice my essays, and the writing practice helped.
    It’s not just monsters in here 😉

  • 3 January 2007 9:42 pm

    Rare, tranquil, and quite ferocious, the flying hammerhead squirrel has been pushed to the brink of extinction. People hunted the poor creatures for their delicate tail plumage, as well as their uniquely shaped skulls. The only known species of flying hammerhead squirrel is thought to be surviving in northern Idaho near Lake Pend Oreille.
    For as little as $0.94 a day, you can help these struggling creatures. Just send your pledge check of $344 to:
    The Endangered Hammerhead Squirrel Prevention Center
    2345 Box Spring Road
    Sandpoint, ID 83809
    Thanks in advance for your kindness.
    P.S. Although the flying hammerhead squirrel may look kind and gentle (they do smile an awful lot) they are vicious creatures that will rip your eyes out if given the chance. Please take cover if you see one flying toward your head. And again, thanks for your kindness.

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