DAILY MONSTER 48



Good morning! Thank you for checking in today! I had an interesting onversation with my friend Jen Rodis yesterday. She told me that she stopped reading the stories about each monster after I started doing the nightly story round-up. This is bad, of course, because I did the round-up with the express purpose of enticing people to read all your cool writing. Some people had originally told me that they didn't look at the comments and were entirely unaware of all the creative energy you're unleashing. But I trust Jen's judgement and perhaps I went too far in the other direction.

So let's try something new. For the next couple of days I'm going to put together a little banner each night that will serve as a kind of table of contents for the previous day's tales. It'll also be a clickable link that takes you directly to those coments. Please let me know what you think of the idea.

Storiesabout47

For now, please say Hello to Monster 48. After a few days of animals, it's a return to enigmatic scholars. What is this one up to? What's his field of study? What's his plan? Who are his masters? Who serves him? Who laces up his shoes for him?

Postyourstoryhere

And please don't let all the new banners distract you from the fact that 344 LOVES YOU

15 Comments

  • 4 January 2007 5:55 am

    Well, it seems that I am the first one today. Back to school I go!
    Today, Monster 48 seems to be standing on his tip toes. Ah yes, the old tiptoe tapdance. It used to be rather popular back in the 4500’s, but now since it’s year 4617 for old Monster 48, he seems a bit…out of style, I’m afraid. Those pinstripe pants are still stylin’! Nevertheless, the ISP (In-Style Police) may be after him pretty soon if he keeps up his act. He still seems to be making a good amount of money off of it – 34π per show.

  • Batgirl
    4 January 2007 7:20 am

    Excellent idea the banners! I, too, stopped reading the posted stories knowing that I was missing the creative energy from all your devoted followers. I am relieved that you have created the banners that allow easy access to them. Thanks and keep up the wonderful work – all of you!

  • 4 January 2007 7:37 am

    What a nice idea – this kind of monster creating!
    My first one was born today:
    http://www.bilder-hochladen.net/files/663-ba-jpg.html

  • 4 January 2007 8:04 am

    you are amazing. i can’t stop watching your monster videos. i’m so impressed.

  • 4 January 2007 8:28 am

    I knew it: My dad’s eyebrow has finally walked off on its own.
    No, seriously.

  • a bomb nation
    4 January 2007 8:58 am

    Daily Monster = One of the most fun parts of my day. 🙂
    Sorry if it’s been asked: Where can I get a T-Shirt with the monster on front and the stories on back?

  • Aspid Istra
    4 January 2007 9:17 am

    Q: Feather-faced fatty fashionably festooned?
    A: Sorry. Simpleton slug sliming sidewalk.
    Aspid Istra
    Gondwanaland

  • 4 January 2007 11:53 am

    Though the monsters of this species (Beastie shapeshifterum) are recognizable by virtually anyone born on this continent – and why wouldn’t they be? They are the most skilled and socially celebrated accountants – what is not commonly known is that their ‘outfits’ are really the natural markings and contours of their fascinating physiognomy.
    As this species slowly began to mesh their culture with that of the humans, they adapted their bodies in order to protect themselves while developing a mutually beneficial relationship with the human culture. This amphibious Beastie species, while unable to shapeshift in the ‘magical’ manner, are able to use water to completely change how they look. Their bristling ‘fur’ (really a dense carpet of hair and fleshy polyps) flattens under the weight of water, rather like a cat’s might, with the added biologic bonus of changing color. So a hunted Beasite shapeshifterum (a tasty snack for birds of prey, city rodents and a rare species of giant spider) need only make it to a water source to change from a black fluffy-haired creature to a skinny long-haried purple one. They started to turn their bristling coats inwards proportionally with their acceptance into human society, so that now, they look like they are wearing fur-lined coats. They cannot turn their hides completely inside out – they must have at least 25% of their natural coat exposed to air and light – so they deperately hope fur does not go out of fashion and naturally are one of the top lobbying groups for the fur industry. The ‘pinstripe pants’ are gills that allow them to breathe underwater and the ‘shoes’?… are really their heads, each ‘eyelet’ an eye, the ‘laces’ exo-cortical neurons, and the ‘heels’ a set of cerebullums. What most people take for their eyes, is a simple matter of that most basic of natural survival tricks – mimicry. These ‘eyes’ are their hearing and olfactory organs.
    The ethics of a species having to physically adapt so dramatically in order to fit in with another species’ culture is a current hot topic of debate.

  • 4 January 2007 11:55 am

    Weird, but my entry was posted under the identity “Aspid Istra” – sorry for the confusion..
    -Adriane

  • 4 January 2007 1:21 pm

    The lab’s fluorescent lamps flickered erratically and hypnotically. Joel was used to it. His many hours huddled over the microscope had made his mind immune to the incessant buzzing and twitching of the lights. Only 2-3 of them were on at a time anyway. He’d been working on the project for the last three years and the research was coming incredibly close to completion. The lead scientist was pleasant enough, especially when not in the lab. However, this particular project’s outcome seemed to be evolving towards a negative one. Joel didn’t question. He just did his job. It was a general consensus amongst the other researchers, that the good doctor, while celebrated in his public life, didn’t much care for others who shared the planet with him. Best not to get on his bad side.
    A few more hours passed and Joel dutifully recorded his findings. The computer on the back line chirped and clicked rather unusually. Joel spun around in his chair and lazily scooted to the machine. “What analysis are you trying to tell me, Rocky?” Joel asked of the playfully named computer. He threaded his way through the screen’s dialogue and his eyes grew wide as he paused on one section of formula.
    “But… this… this would kill everything…” Joel was in shock. He couldn’t believe what he was reading. The research. All these past months and years. Everything everyone was working on was more deadly than anyone had considered. Except, of course, the lead scientist who pushed for the minor adjustments to the main formula every few weeks. Joel finally blinked and shook the shock from his mind. “This is the most dangerous thing I’ve ever seen!” Joel exclaimed.
    “Then perhaps you’ve seen too much.” came a determined voice from the entryway. “I foresaw your discovery of my plans and came here immediately.”
    Joel stood up and faced the man. “Now I know what you’ve been up to. I don’t know why I didn’t see it earlier. Of course! Four months ago. The introduction of the Virilium Extract. I should have put it together then. I won’t let this project finish!”
    The man stepped into the lab and under one of the flickering lamps. His face illuminated at sporadic intervals of dim and bright light. He made for Joel with anger and evil in his eyes. Joel dashed to the cabinet and flung it open. He pushed trays to the side and reached for a small vial and a needle gun. Joel deftly inserted the vial and turned to face the man as he rapidly approached. Just as he was being assaulted, Joel raised his “weapon” and plunged it deep into his attacker’s neck. “No… What have you done?” came the response from the puncture and subsequent release of the fluid from the vial.
    “This, my good doctor, is an amnesia-inducing serum with a bit of a sedative for good measure. Within a few minutes, you won’t remember your first name, let alone all this horrid research. Your poison will not see the light of day. I can’t bring myself to kill such a brilliant mind such as yours, Dr. Bruchamp, but I can erase it. Did you see that coming?” Joel let the doctor stagger back and watched as he slowly fell into his forgetful sleep.
    =======::::=======
    Many of you might recognize Dr. Bruchamp’s name. For those who don’t, feel free to further this story at my entry for Monster 31.

  • 4 January 2007 8:29 pm

    Taddeo Yakovich wanted an adventure. Flipping through stacks of glossy getaway brochures, Taddeo grew weary. Nothing was substantial enough to thrill him anymore. Cruise ships? Guffaw! Venetian Gondola tours? Please! Taddeo needed something big. Something difficult. He flipped to the next brochure and angels began to resound.
    -ahhhhhhhhh AHHHHHHHHH- (Angels singing)
    Mt. Everest!
    It was a pricy tour at $34,400 but Taddeo felt driven to go with it. Heights never scared him, and he was an adrenaline junkie.
    Base camp was peachy. Advanced base was a joke. But trekking along on the treacherous Northwest route, Taddeo began to feel the effects of severe high altitude cerebral edema at around 8,000 meters. His left eye bugged out of his skull, and his face sort of morphed outward causing the skin to stretch and elongate. He was a freak now, and close to death. Lucky for him, he was given treatment and sent down the mountain, slowly, to prevent further damage.
    He might have made the summit had he worn the proper shoes. The Sherpas called him crazy for trying to do it in high heels.
    His face was never the same after Everest, but at least he had his adventure. And the memories will last a lifetime (So will the permanent facial disfiguration, but thems small potatoes).

  • 5 January 2007 2:42 am

    Hello a bomb nation!
    Thank you for the question about T-shirts. They are on the drawing board. It’ll probably take another month or two to set up the online store. I am, however, going to post a survey to find out which monster should go on the first Daily Monster T-shirt. I hope you’ll check back and vote.

  • 7 January 2007 9:09 am

    I like the banner idea. I had resorted to watching the monsters on YouTube for the same reasons as your friend Jen…
    And, I am in the t-shirt mfg. business, so if you are looking to source a mfg’er, let me know. There’s a company we work with who’s great. They do stuff for Paul Frank, Oneill, etc.

  • Sue Bebie
    20 April 2008 4:36 am

    Herr Monobrow bewebt sich seit einiger Zeit nur noch auf Zehenspitzen vorwärts, aus Angst sonst über seinen überlangen Brauenbart zu stolpern. Wie soll Bartmann Monobrow so nur den mythischen Most holen. Durch den Zehenspitzengang trifft er erst mit einer enormen Verspätung beim Mostbrunnen eintreffen. Die Gärung des Saftes ist schon in vollem Gange…
    Das entstandene Gasgemisch explodiert mit einem ohrenbetäubenden Knall. Durch die entstandene Druckwelle wird der Brunnenschachtdeckel durch die Luft geschleudert und zischt frisbeegleich über den Ozean.
    Die oversize Monster der Küstengebiete Kaliforniens, staunen über die vielseitig zu gebrauchende Scheibe und ernennen sie zum Sportgerät des Jahres.
    Immerhin irgendwie ein Happy End; und das alles nur wegen eines kleinen, aber nicht unerheblichen Fehlers in einer Abfüllanlage der chemischen Industrie.
    Die Abfüllmaschine für Haarentfernungsmittel wurde kurzfristig auf Haarwuchsmittelauswurf umgestellt. Keine Deklarierung,…kann Spuren von… enthalten… und das Desaster nahm seinen Lauf.
    Ein glückliches Ende für Herrn Monobrows haariges Problem ist in weite Ferne gerückt. Ohne Most keine Fruchtsäure und ohne Fruchtsäure keine natürliche Haarweg-Behandlung.

  • Sue Bebie
    20 April 2008 4:51 am

    Herr Monobrow bewebt sich seit einiger Zeit nur noch auf Zehenspitzen vorwärts, aus Angst sonst über seinen überlangen Brauenbart zu stolpern. Wie soll Bartmann Monobrow so nur den mythischen Most holen. Durch den Zehenspitzengang trifft er erst mit einer enormen Verspätung beim Mostbrunnen eintreffen. Die Gärung des Saftes ist schon in vollem Gange…
    Das entstandene Gasgemisch explodiert mit einem ohrenbetäubenden Knall. Durch die entstandene Druckwelle wird der Brunnenschachtdeckel durch die Luft geschleudert und zischt frisbeegleich über den Ozean.
    Die oversize Monster der Küstengebiete Kaliforniens, staunen über die vielseitig zu gebrauchende Scheibe und ernennen sie zum Sportgerät des Jahres.
    Immerhin irgendwie ein Happy End; und das alles nur wegen eines kleinen, aber nicht unerheblichen Fehlers in einer Abfüllanlage der chemischen Industrie.
    Die Abfüllmaschine für Haarentfernungsmittel wurde kurzfristig auf Haarwuchsmittelauswurf umgestellt. Keine Deklarierung,…kann Spuren von… enthalten… und das Desaster nahm seinen Lauf.
    Ein glückliches Ende für Herrn Monobrows haariges Problem ist in weite Ferne gerückt. Ohne Most keine Fruchtsäure und ohne Fruchtsäure keine natürliche Haarweg-Behandlung.

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