DAILY MONSTER 94 (of 100)
Good morning. I hope you had a good weekend and are ready for the final week of the Daily Monster. Only six more creatures to go after today! But they’re going to be good, so please tell a friend and post a story. Here are some fine examples from yesterday:
Monster 94 is worshipped. It seems to have a congregation of sorts. Is it an oracle, do you think? A shamanic creature? Why is it touching some of its followers with its noodly appendage? Clearly there are complex interactions happening here. What do you think the story is?
I’m excited to see what you come up with. As you know, there will be a book about this whole series and you can’t get into the book if you don’t post a story. So if you haven’t joined in the fun, this is your chance.
Due to the nature of old school print media, it’ll take a few months to get the book produced right. But I would love to keep you informed about the project in the meantime. I’ll post news here at the site, of course, but if you like, please send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll make sure you’re the first to get the book when it becomes available. In fact, if you put yourself on the mailing list, I’ll send you a custom monster desktop picture—full color and everything!—by the end of the week.
Right now, I hope you’ll have fun with Monster 94
and that the week ahead will bring you much luck and inspiration.
You do know, don’t you, that 344 LOVES YOU
Well look at who we have here. It’s Citrus, monster 92’s mount! Citrus and 92 had a recent falling out when 92 got a new pair of shoes and cared to walk a couple places. As you can see, Citrus has wandered off into the badlands feeling neglected and has almost become a sort of vagabond. When Cit walks, he almost looks like he is floating. All of his apendages make him appear as he is slithering across the floor, but he can get up to very fast paces — 30 – 40 MPH. Each of his mouth apendages are not normaly that long, but 92 has not trimmed them since he got his shoes. Clementine likes them long, however, because he feels more in touch with his wild-man side. Each apendage hovers below a mouth giving Citrus a whole lot of mouths. He has two daughters and a son named Tangerine, Orange, and Clementine respectively.
Citrus is one of my favorite monsters!
What’s all the excitement surrounding Monster 94?
Why does he accumulate throngs of on lookers and herds of paparazzi wherever he goes?
Is he a prophet with news of the Apocalypse?
Maybe he’s discovered a way to fuel automobiles using only grass clippings?
What if he’s here to eat New York!
Sadly, it is nothing as important as that.
Monster 94 is just the Cruise family’s new pet, Sweetums.
Every December 26th when the batteries run out, when the pieces are lost, when the tree falls over, you can hear Santa’s evil twin, Mylanta…..”On Dumpster, On Rhubarb, On Masher and Rotten”……his evil holiday deeds are over for one more year.
He is the reason that next year – you better watch out.
btw….Yahoo doesn’t like any of your addys,
and i want to get on the mailing list
Jerry was caught in a dilema; “Do I eat my snacks or let them worship me a bit longer?
Gordon didn’t know what to do with all these strange creatures around him. At home, he was always in the corner playing with his Jirgo blocks. This must be his older brother’s cruel joke. Gordon knew something was up when Myke offered to fly him on his new Feathercraft 4030. Now Gordon is stuck on the unrestricted planet. His mommy always told him not to go here because of the freaky human beings that only had two legs! Imagine! Knowing Myke, Gordon figured he’d be picked up about 2 hours after dinner. “Well,” Gordon thought, “they look like Jingo blocks…”
Look, it’s Marty Graugh. He’s checking on Fat Tuesday’s tasty morsels. Are they plump enough? Do they contain just the right amount of juice? He has to be sure, for he will surely miss them during lent. I’m glad I won’t be around to see them devoured, as Marty has been on an eating binge since he missed out on Best in Show last week. It won’t be pretty, that’s for sure.
Truly embarrassing when you’re still counting your shed fingers to figure out what 17 + 8 is. That’s why there are no other monsters around dear 92… he likes to do his math where no-one will make fun of him.
It’s the Olba monster!
Usually he’s very tame, prefering to curl up next to a tree for some good shade and sleep the day away with his Yaruzop tickling his extentions.
Then one day, his Yaryzop got up and left! Where did it go?
The Olba monster got really worried and started looking around. Everyone gathered pointing and wondering what the Olba monster was doing, not sleeping under a tree? Fustrated by all the idiots just standing there, he let out a roar “Don’t just stand there! Help me!!”
But everyone just stood there staring. Then the Olba monster rolled his eyes and sighed, “Americans”.
Evan woke with a start. His back ached and his eyes burned. What on earth has happened to me? he wondered to himself. He felt as though he had been asleep for months. Maybe he had. Or maybe it had just been hours. He couldn’t tell. Slowly he began to ease himself from his bed, and quickly he hit the floor. From the cold ground he looked up at his bed and realized it had shrunk. How in the world did that happen? he wondered.
As he wandered through his home, he realized that everything was smaller. Even the ceilings had gotten lower. Baffled and upset, he walked outside to see if anything was as it used to be.
In the bright sunlight of the crisp February morning, he saw that everything was smaller then it was when he fell asleep. And then suddenly it hit him. He had gobbled up 19 Growbot pills before he had fallen asleep. HE HAD GOTTEN BIGGER!.
His whole life had been spent smaller then everything and everyone. Tired of being made fun of constantly he had gone to the local pill peddler and gotten some Growbot pills. The peddler told him to take two and then go to sleep. The pills would make him sleep for a couple of days, because he would be growing. The peddler told him he would see results when he woke up. Evan figured if two would do a little, then 19 would be better.
Evan realized his power. He realized that he was bigger then everything and everyone. He could not be touched! He laughed and laughed and laughed. He notice crowds of people gathering around him and staring and screaming and running. Ah, the power! he thought. He raised up on his back feet and let his weight fall to the earth and shake the ground. The power! Oh, the power!
When Evan was done jumping around and causing the earth to shudder and shake, he looked around. He realized that everyone was gone and he was all alone. He turned and saw his home was in ruins from the tremors he had sent through the ground. He was alone and had nowhere to go. Evan no longer felt so powerful. Poor, Evan.
Thanks to a new job I haven’t posted in a couple months! Glad I checked in before it’s all over. Thanks for keeping up with the great monsters, Mr. Bucher!
Me and my dad have been watching for a while now, so I (well, my dad let me)decided to post a story.
The giant creature wandered the land in hopes of finding anything to clean up. It’s sole purpose was to clean, clean, clean. It had been created to help stop the ozone layer problem and to help clean up the junk that we humans end up leaving everywhere.
The ones who created it were anonymous, although they did let people know them as the Clenup company. They had released this monste into the world, allowing it to do what it was created to do.
It’s face was covered in a feathery fluff that was sticky at the very tips of each strand of hair, allowing it to collect dust. It’s mouth was just a vacumm that sucked up the dangerous gases that roamed the air that we breath,it also sucked up the garbage. It was able to digest the garbage in it’s stomach, and recycle it through, turning it into fresh air, or water. It was also able to create a natural fuel for gas, helping to save the problem with high gas prices.
it mindlessly roamed itself into a small town, and stopped to clean up the neighboring houses and streets. The houses were the size of small rocks to it, and the roads a small gray strip. The grass looked just like a yellow-and-green ocean, gently waving up and down throughout the hillside.
The residents of the small town slowly wandered out of their houses into the area, crouding around the beast. It was pleased, and carefully brushed it’s feathery flush on the small people.
Eventually it was on it’s way, and the people gathered at the hillside to wave goodbye to the great creature. All the meanwhile the inventors back at Clenup were discussing about the creation of a creature that prevented crime.
Hope you like it.
For years people have been flocking to the Great Leviathan Idol of Intellect. People travel from all over the world in hopes that the creature will pass some of his knowledge to them. Notable guests of late include our own George Dubbya. He stumbled upon the GLII website one night while he was on the Google and just had to try it out for himself. But the Great Leviathan only reaches out to touch a select few of the visitors, thus giving them powers of extraordinary mental vision and capacity. Dubbya remains merely touched.
Goodness if it isn’t the Great Soysauce Dragon! In all my Taxonomy days, I’d never even dreamt of viewing such a magnificent creature–and engaging in one of its favorite past-times no less–SoyTouch!
Discovered in ancient times by Kikkoman Sauces, it gained its name by the rich dark color of its fluidous coat, and of course by the distinctive shape of its snout which would later serve as inspiration for the clean design of the spout we know of soy sauce bottles today. The company’s men crowded round the beast and attempted to ensnare it in their contracts, but he reared up and bellowed:
“No! I am a freelance Soysauce dragon! And shall not be swayed by your corporate Soysauce ways! Rich and sacred soy sauce fouls in the presence of your legal contracts and mass-marketing!” and The Great Soysauce Dragon touched each bald head of the Kikkoman moguls with its dripping soysauce appendages, and instantly all evil and inhuman thoughts of personal gain and profit that plagues each soul of a great businessman flew from them like black crows up into the sky. The men bowed to the great creature, and thanked him for clearing their heads.
Nowadays, there is still a shrine for the great beast along the serene countryside of Osaka. Scores of locals and tourists alike flock to it in hopes of recieving the revitalising SoyTouch–for it is said to cure all ills be they physical or mental.
Years later after their experience, the Kikkoman bigwigs were struggling with an icon to use instead of the Great Soysauce Dragon. In hopes of peacefully asking the beast’s advice, they drove back to the shrine…
And ended up running over a strange young man dressed as a scantily-clad superhero with a fish-shaped head [ http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kikkoman-e.php ] thus the Kikkoman Warrior was born.
This has been another silly-taxonomy from The Respected Taxonomist Kukuttan–May all your days be blessed with Soysausey-virtue.
Maude ushered her children through the park grounds just as many other parents were doing. It was of pleasant climate as the Second Star blazed overhead, soon to be followed by its smaller partner. This was not a particularly special occasion, yet Maude thought it would be a nice treat to take her children to the park for the day. As the three siblings played a vigorous game of chase on the main lawn, a low rumbling was heard some ways off in the distance. A blackness rose from the horizon. Many of the patrons stopped their activities and stared in the direction of the ever increasing sound.
Booms and slaps and splashing of fallen trees, crashes of vehicles and a multitude of other noises accompanied the growing shape as it loomed ever closer to the open grounds of the park. Families grouped together. Friends stood beside each other without moving. The object was clearer now, rising some 300 feet into the air above everyone on the ground. Sloppy, mud-like tendrils shot out from its base, purchasing vacant earth to pull itself forward. An enormous head, atop a bulbous neck, sported feelers and long, hairy appendages by which it traced and scanned its surroundings before it. As it neared the center of the main lawn, it stopped and gazed down upon the awestruck spectators below. With delicate attention, it stroked a few of the people with a tendril from its maw before looking to the sky and letting out an ear-deafening bleat. Within as few moments as it took for it to arrive, it set off once more. The lower tendrils leaving a wake of desolation behind it.
Those that the creature touched initially panicked. What had it done? What would happen to them? Many witnesses merely remained standing in the spot they were when the event happened. Others either ran for their houses or the nearest mode of transportation away from the park. After a few minutes of chaos, much of the calm returned. And then the first “victim” was revealed. Tendrils of sticky mud blasted from their legs and slapped the ground around it. The pain and agony experienced by this action had them dropping to their knees, clutching the earth between their fingers. Upon doing so, however, the sticky goo exploded from their arms. Writhing in pain, their bodies took on the color and some of the consistency of the mud sprouting forth. Eventually, they grew to resemble the hideous monster that visited them just moments ago, only on a much smaller scale. There were only about three afflicted in the park, but there was no telling how many existed overall.
High above the planet’s atmosphere, an incredibly immense vessel surveyed the lands below it. Two humanoid beings sat in the observation deck as they watched the gigantic sludge beast traverse the surface. With a high-quality video capture system, they zoomed in on the areas left behind by the monster. They could make out the changing figures sprawling across the ground. One turned to the other and with a sigh, remarked, “Did you know that would happen?”
In as much concern as a person gives a gnat, the reply came surprisingly quick, “I really had no idea. We’ve walked her on several planets without such a thing occurring. And these inhabitants are amazingly small. Now I know why the sign outside this system mentioned a leash law.”
This is an awesome monster.
BTW – I have not been able to send you any email since at least yesterday. I keep getting errors to your domain when trying to send.
This could be a good or bad thing, depending on your take of emails with a few sentences. And by few, I mean around 10 at minimum. Anyway, I would like to be included on the mailing list you spoke of and am really excited about the book. Hopefully, I can send you commentary through email soon so you can be blessed with my long-windedness there as well.
Monster number 94!!
Euphorically counting it’s lunch, looking so overcome with joy that it wavers above everyone to fully enjoy the moment first.
I wonder if there were crunching noises…
“Deliver us from Swedish furniture!”
As he crawled from the seas, he looked at all that surrounded him. He saw what was and what he would soon become. Inside he smiled. Happy in the safe knowledge that he too would soon have legs & a dapper suit.
Every year people travel from long distances to a tiny spot in the desert to greet the Snarkle monster.
The Snarkle is a magical creature who blesses those he touches. He has to be careful though who he chooses, because his blessing and touch grants each person one wish of their choosing. This wish may be ANYTHING they want. From curing disease to a brand new Porsche.
When he is ready to bestow his special gift, he picks three lucky people, rears back on his hind legs and shakes his head while mumbling the words that will make their wishes come true.
Monster 95 is completely freaking out. He’s been up for days, hasn’t had a thing to eat, and his mind is playing tricks on him. “Where are my feet? Where are my goddamn feet? I can’t feel my feet!!!”
Once he realizes his feet have always been there, he just couldn’t see them under his fat, obnoxious belly…the pain from the swelling kicks in. “How long have I been standing here? Mmmm, do I smell bacon?”
the animation of the thud was good by the way, well timed and whatnot. 🙂
The mysterious monster just had his 94th birthday. While on a walk, he came to a town where everything was so small he almost stepped on one of the buildings that looked like a cactus. He screamed so loud that all the townspeople’s eardrums blew out. For the rest of their life, they could not hear.
Bog is a bird mixed with a dog. He belongs to giants and is a giant himself. One day an evil scientist came and turned everyone small but Bog. He was growling to try to get the little people’s attention and have them get on his back. He carried them off to his lair where they shrunk him down like them and killed him.
Angaben auf der Menü-Karte für Weltenbummler: Beim Verzehr menschlicher Organismen, können in sehr seltenen Fällen Verdauungstörungen und allergische Reaktionen auftreten.
Schade, dass ich bei Fast Food immer dieses elende Tentakelbrennen kriege! Da bleibt mir nur die totale Abstinenz.
wow this is so cool…
don’t stop with the monsters..
Ms. St. Onge’s second grade class says that, ” This terrible Swamp monster is going to drink up all our water and eat all the fish! Oh, no!!!”
Once the terrible swamp monster eats up all the fish and drinks all the water, he will go towards land and eat all the people for dessert!”
“Yikes!” says their mortified teacher.
“Yikes!” indeed! Not only about the eating of the people. We’ll need the water and the fish, too. Here’s my question for Ms. St. Onge’s second grade class: What can we do to kee this Monster from eating everything? How can we distract it? What else can we feed it?
You make the best monsters ever!
Thank you very much, Hailey! I appreciate it. (And No.94 is one of my personal favorites, too. :^)