DAILY MONSTER 146
Good morning. I hope you’re well and that the week is bringing you good things already. Some very good things are definitely to be found in yesterday’s excellent stories. Please take a look:
Now, after yesterday’s multiocular monster,
let’s see what kind of creature awaits today:
Once again, there seems to be something going on above our heads. But what? Is it a passing scare? Or something that happens again and again and led to the evolution of a highly stable stance? On a more mundane level, I question if Monster 146 puts its pants on one leg at a time. Because… how exactly would that work? Questions, questions, questions! I hope you’ll take a minute (or two) to share your thoughts. Would you please…
It makes me happy to say
that I have no idea what you’ll come up with.
But I know it’ll make me laugh!
It’s a major reason why 344 LOVES YOU
Just wanted to say I am new to your site. It is fabulous. I have only been observing your monsters since 140, but I ordered your book already from Amazon. I can’t wait to get it.
She’s learned a lot about dressing from watching the earthling females. She used to have a lot of problems with the pants, but now – she lays on the floor and wiggles into the pants both feet at once til she can finally take a deep breath and button the waistband.
They might not be jeans, but it’s the same technique. *S* Ask me how I know.
It works best if someone is there to help you get up.
Sally always had had some problems with buying the right pants for her. She had worn skirts up to her 200. birthday, before deciding to try out a very nice and comfy looking pair of jeans. The jeans were indeed very nice. But putting them on always ended up in awkward situations and she was lucky that her mum helped her out.
By now, Sally prefers pants. After searching for about a year for a store that would also sell pants for big-footed persons, she finally found another solution. One day, while shopping, she found a book smiling at her in a small, secluded store. It was called “The Art of Sewing”.
At first, it was almost disastrous. She lost the needles, poked herself about a billion times and when she actually had fiddled the thread through the needle, it ripped somewhere. However, after a while it worked out. Her trick was to put a very elastic rubber band into the waist of the pants. That way, she didn’t need hours to even get into one leg of the pants, but was ready in about five minutes.
The other big surprise was that her friends from university began to pester her with questions about her nice fitting pants. After a seemingly infinite line of questions , Sally decided to sew some for her best friends and give those to them as a present. The pants became a great success and Sally became more confident in her sewing skills. Maybe this could be the start of something great?
Yo yo yo, it’s pimp masta platform…bout ta bust your mind with a mad rappin’ rhyme.
it has turned upside down. its head sticks in the pants. it doesn’t wanna see, what’s going on above.
eyes and arms… a big fake, to make everybody think, that all is okay…
This monster exhibits a slight air of embarrassment – but then we did disturb him right in the middle of dancing to the Bee Gees’ greatest hits, so that’s to be expected!
After a spacial anomaly, a monster – let’s call him Dave, arrives from the 70s in platform shoes and flares after a wormhole opening in the middle of the dance floor, whilst performing his version of the monster mash.
His friends called him disco Dave, now he’s just a freak, so he stares longingly at the mirror ball in the sky waiting for disco to be king once more…
Monster 146 (who’s named Otis)
Contorts his small frame to a lotus,
Pulls on each leg with haste,
But his pants have no waist!
(He hopes that nobody will notice.)
For platform shoes, there’s a discrete
Means of unshodding footwear from feet.
Taking tech support’s route,
When he needs to re-boot,
He just hits Ctrl+Alt+Delete
This monster is quite obviously just trying to stay alive (ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin’ aliiiiiive…)
Patrick M you crack me up!
Mumfley Dimwobble had a tough childhood, certainly. He had the scrawniest, shortest kneecaps on the block and could not hide them from the cruel taunts of the neighborhood kids.
‘Disproportionate, disproportionate!’, they’d jeer and point.
He vowed to never show his kneecaps in public ever again, and has worked at the local bowling alley as a bartender ever since he was six. He tends bar, or as they say in Kneecaps Anonymous: ‘Not facing the true you by hiding behind a large object, like a bar, rail, or fence.’ He’s been seeing a kneecap-specialist under the cover of darkness and shame who has recommended a regiment of massive gilded shoes and stripey pants to offset the jeering, much like a clown would wear a giant red nose to offset the male-pattern-baldness and fits of juggling.
STRETCH-AND-SHRINK heisst die Marke seiner Beinkleider. Da kriegt man auch die monströsesten Klumpen rein. Einfach zu handhabenden Hosenbunddehner einspannen, Füsse reinstecken und durch.