DAILY MONSTER 163



Good morning. Thank you for coming to visit the monsters on what --- on the evidence of the first 129 minutes of it --- I can only presume will be a very fine Saturday. Yesterday was a pretty fun day, too:

In the morning, I got to talk to Debbie Millman on her design matters program, and who would call in, but our very own Sam B.? Sam posted a story for every one of the first 100 monsters and for just about every other monster since. We've e-mailed a lot, but I had never spoken to him before. It took Debbie's radio program.

Sam read us one of his stories, I read another, and Debbie gave us one of Victoria Koldewyn's tales. We also talked about a whole lot of other things related to the monsters and to my non-monster work. I know that a few of you tuned in to the live broadcast. Thank you so much! If you missed it and are curious, you can listen to the archived show right here.

So that was all of that. Then, over the course of the day, I got to see a great new spate of stories pour in! It's especially nice to see so many new names pop up, and do so in high style. There's some funny stuff going on with yesterday's monster. You really have to check it out:

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And then there's Monster 163, of course:

In contrast to the past few beasts, Monster 163 seems entirely serene. (It's aspirational art! :^) But just because everything appears to be calm doesn't mean there isn't a story here. How did 163 achieve this state of calm, for example? Is it transitory? Or permanent? Was it hard won? Or is it in 163's nature? If you can spare the time, slow your breathing, get into a monstrous state of Zen, and please...

Postyourstoryhere

It's March 1st (my 34.4th birthday, incidentally) and I know that some of you are getting a little frustrated waiting for the book. Please forgive the delay. I share your frustration. Amazon moved the release date from February 25th to March 5th, but I have confirmed that the books left the HOW Books warehouse earlier this week and are on their way. In fact, Joerg M. posted a comment a few hours ago saying that he received a notification that Amazon had shipped his copy. So... it's coming.

I do apologize for the delay. As you can tell from the throbbing vein on my forehead I am trying to speed things along by sheer force of will and concentration. So far, I've not seen any useful results, but when I had some soup just now all my spoons were bent.

I do hope that you'll have a wonderful, mellow Saturday,
and that you'll check back in tomorrow for Monster 164.
Please don't let any of all this shipping delay business
make you doubt that 344 LOVES YOU

15 Comments

  • sue bebié
    1 March 2008 5:15 am

    it did achieve this mental state, because of drinking its daily mind expanding fishjuice. that makes it looking so entirely serene. it wanted everybody to say “jö”.(swiss german for: sweet.) a nice little creature during the day, but in the darkness of the night, when nobody sees it, it waddles in a hyperactiv way with its feet. a restless sleep for everybody…

  • jak
    1 March 2008 7:21 am

    Happy 34.4th!
    Lincoln bobbed gently on the surface of the plastic pond. He wore the same serene smile he’d practiced for months in front of the mirror at home.
    Lean to the right, now the left, he told himself. Slow circles to keep yourself out of the crowd.
    Every so often, when an especially sweet little girl (like the one standing there, pigtails as messy as the feathers on his back) was contemplating the group, he’d angle himself slightly side-ways and send out plaintive “pick me” vibes. Hoping, praying… but no, she went for the pink one with orange eyes.
    “See Mommy, it loves me!”
    No! Lincoln’s heart cried out, I love you! It’s just a plastic duck – I’m real. Okay, so I”m not a duck, but I’m a real wannabe.
    He watched her mother hand the duck to the barker, who turned it over. “Give me a fourteen!” he yelled at a pimple-faced boy behind the counter.
    “We’re outta them.”
    “Sorry, kid. Pick another.”
    Me! Me! Lincoln was near bursting inside when the little girl’s hand, soft and plump, grasped him around the neck.
    “Here, Mommy. I want the funny-looking one.”
    The man grabbed me from her, flipping me over. “How’d this thing get in there?” He arced his arm backwards and I braced myself for the inevitable fling.
    “Can I have it, mister?” the little girl asked.
    “This scrawny thing?” The barker shook his head, and mine.
    “Uh huh.” She nodded like crazy. “My cat will love it!”
    Jeez Louise! thought Lincoln, as the man handed him over. Here we go again…

  • 1 March 2008 9:32 am

    That’s not “serene”…..that’s shock
    He’s just felt something bite off one of his feet underwater. In the very next second, we’ll hear a scream heard round the world.
    Fortunately, monsters can regrow any appendage quick as a wink. However, the unknown biter will be poisoned by the time he swallows the last toenail.
    (btw….how do you get to be 34.4 yrs old and celebrate? Happy quarterly Birthday!)

  • Funnygirl
    1 March 2008 10:53 am

    After a late night partying with Monsters 138, 72 and 198, (wait ’til you see THAT guy!) Monster 163, Greblok to his mum, woke up in the middle of a pond with a Maori-like tattoo on his face and no recollection of how it got there. At first, he was yellow with rage, but he calmed down quite a bit when Sheila, Troll 29 (a whole new series to think about), began flirting as only a troll can, by bringing him a token of her affection…3 week old haggis. That’s right. Greblok isn’t calm or serene. He’s frozen to the spot in fear that he will have to eat Sheila’s gift!!

  • 1 March 2008 12:40 pm

    Hi Stefan! Thank you for a great interview yesterday! You ROCK!
    And Sam B–you are awesome! Thank you for calling in.

  • 1 March 2008 3:34 pm

    Happy Birthday!!!

  • Graymalkin
    1 March 2008 3:38 pm

    That for sure is a certain cockatoo looking forward to a fateful blind date… (compare 160)

  • eclecticheart
    1 March 2008 7:48 pm

    Mmmm…Leap Monsters are small but delish *BURP* excuse me

  • 1 March 2008 8:35 pm

    Had Jack “The King” Kirby’s “Devil Dinosaur” comic lasted longer than nine short issues in 1978, and actually made the 120-million-year run that Kirby intended, the fanboys might have gotten to see the “Devil Bird” into which Kirby planned for “Devil Dinosaur” to evolve; as it went down, though, Marvel’s treatment of its employees meant Kirby’s leaving the company for a final time, and all that remains of his vision is this sketch of a small waterfowl with Kirby Dots surrounding its eyes, a souvenir of what could have been.

  • 2 March 2008 12:31 am

    Now, you see, I don’t think he’s really serene here. I think he’s just really focused, because he realizes the moment his concentration breaks, he’ll wobble forward and go gigantic-face-first into the water.
    Amazing stuff BTW. Heard of you from Lena. Looking forward to your future output

  • publicfroggy
    2 March 2008 12:11 pm

    Even monsters get the flu, which is transitory but not calm.The thing is,in addition to running a fever,he’s about to sneeze.

  • heathers
    3 March 2008 10:41 am

    Skulldorf is serene in the knowledge that he is not the ugly duckling of his pond – that particular honour belonged to Raoul, a brash looking pink and orange flamingo who obvioulsy didn’t belong in the serene monochromatic world of the Monsterfowl.
    Hope you had a super birthday Stefan!

  • GristleBean
    4 March 2008 10:59 am

    Nothing is a better friend near fishing communities than a seafowl locally called a ‘buoy duck’, for lack of a better term. These friendly birds enjoy hanging about close to shore near jagged rocks and shallow coral reefs.
    Their mating habits are uncannily helpful, for during their mating season which lasts seventeen years, the males attract mates by producing a bright bioiluminescent orange colour with their beaks. This glow can be seen through the thickest of fogs.
    When first found by scientists, this creature immediately became the supposed single proof of divine creation. Locals did not bat an eye in reguards to this, as they knew better. They tithe to the Cult Of Glow.
    Through hundreds of thousands of years of evolutionary crossbreeding, the Cult Of Glow raised this species up to be the helpful maritime bird it is today.
    The Cult Of Glow has helped and bred several other species, such as airstrip geckoes, interior vehicle lighting ants, and the headlamp bat.
    For more information on the Cult Of Glow or its affiliates, employment, or press releases, please contact Galeef Glukstradler at the Beacon Chapel, Brightanchor Isle 00L421-902.

  • 6 March 2008 8:41 pm

    The baby found his greatest joy drawing the monsters from his dreams on the laundry room wall. It actually made it easier for him to sleep – knowing that he had put the monsters in the laundry room and had shut the door. Despite this, his parents seemed very frustrated with the whole process. He wondered what this “No” thing was that they kept clambering about. It appeared to be very urgent to them. They asked for it repeatedly – especially when he was busy with his monster drawings. He wondered where he could find it in order to calm them down.

  • Sue Bebie
    7 September 2008 6:04 am

    Dieses Entlein ist der sprichwörtliche Wolf im Schafpelz. Eine mögliche Entsprechung für Wassertiere wäre vielleicht auch: Piranha in Seepferdchenhaut. Ist ja eigentlich egal…
    Dieses süsse, harmlos aussehende Tierchen wird nach Sonnenuntergang zur nervtötenden Lärmbelästigung der besonderen Art.
    Alle, die schon mal einen Wasservogel beim Trinken beobachtet haben, mögen mir beipflichten, dass es lustig anzuschauen und anzuhören ist, dieses Wasser-in-den-Schnabel-Schlabbern; wohlgemerkt bei einem so kleinen Entenvieh. Aber eben jetzt kommts. Nachts verändern sich zwar auch die Katzen, nur farblich allerdings. Nicht so unser Entlein…Es wächst und wächst, wird grösser und grösser, nimmt die Ausmasse eines veritablen Einfamilienhauses an. Nicht nur die Körpergrösse verändert sich, auch die Geräuschkulisse. Das Schlabbern wird zu einem unerträglichen Klatschen, Tropfen und Klopfen. An erholsamen Schlaf ist auch für nicht Tinitus geplagte Menschen kaum mehr zu denken.
    Fazit: Des nachts nie ohne…
    Ohropax!

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