DAILY MONSTER 199 (of 200)
Good morning. How are you? I’ll say the same thing I seem to say every week now: It’s Thursday already? Where is the week going? But I have good news! Monster 200 finally showed up about an hour ago, and I’m getting it ready for its big moment tomorrow. I hope you’ll like it. (And today’s monster, too, of course.)
Right now, I hope you’ll take some time to marvel
at the great stories for yesterday’s monster:
Now, please give it up for Monster 199:
If you’re reading this on my Amazon blog, please click here to see the video.
199 is decked out! What’s he getting all dressed up for, do you think? Is he on his way to a party? Is he about to go on stage? Or is this simply his regular wardrobe? Where do you think he gets his jewelry? What do you think his voice sounds like? Does he play any instruments? There are just so many basic questions I have about 199. I hope you’ll let me in on your thoughts! If you can fit it into your day, I hope you’ll…
200 comes out tomorrow.
You can bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow…
Well, and all that. What I’m saying is, I hope
you’ll join me tomorrow for the grand finale of the Daily Monsters.
It’s only a day a-waaaaay!
Until then, I hope you’re having
an excellent Thursday wherever you are,
and that you know that 344 LOVES YOU
HI!!! of course the jewelry that the monster buy is with CRISTINA RIOS!!!! Hi Stefan! What a great monster! Look, I think he is trying to dress for the new place where he is living now… Maybe he just moove like me from Cancun to México and he doesn´t know what to dress… but he needs to join in this new place….and he is going to go with me to a bookstore to buy me a book…. your book! by the way!…No voice, cause he likes be behind a computer, and no instruments, he prefers to listen all kind and learn always more about what is new.
Now can you tell me where I can buy the book here in Mexico city? in what store? so this monster and I can go to buy one? thanks!
He’s the Manager of the good old Roaring Bones, Monsterworld’s greatest Bones Drummer Hard Rock Band. That’s why he’s such a rich guy, but nevertheless he made some money on the side as an underground Mafioso. These jewelery stuff is his brand name. In the social background they call him Carlo Furioso.
After he won his suit against the candymaker whose product turned his tongue permanently green, Wilzits was able to marry all three of his girlfriends. Not only that, when scuba-diving off the coast of the island he purchased with part of the judgement, he often came back with fish that had mistaken his tongue for a large and juicy worm.
He assured his loving spouses that while it hurt like blazes, their idyllic life (and the glowing good health from their nutritious diet) made suffering through the wealth worth it.
Occasionally the world of the Daily Monsters and ours collide.
Perhaps the worst known incident of this happening resulted in these – the Kackles – to give them their real name, crossing over into our world.
Left unchecked and largely unseen Kackles spent no time in scurrying across the world, finding a home from home for themselves within our television sets. And as the number of televisions set have grown so has the Kackle infestation of our planet
Nowadays so ubiquitous is there presence in the back of our TVs that it is hard to believe there was once a time when the world was free of their evil.
For the demented Kackles are the owners of a peculiarly annoying and demented sound. Yes, I talk of the insane laughter we have come to know as canned.
Last seen trying to make a gild-the-lily buy of any crown jewels over at the Jewelhouse (Tower of London), Fatdaddy Blingbling makes a getaway to his awaiting jet while making his usual flamboyant homage to the next musicial vagabond vagrant victims. After years of hoodwinking and highjacking many a poor music monster wanna-be, world famous wanderlust “Fatdaddy” still uses his “earshot tracking” to rip-off any monstermashup tunes. He always shows up uninvited to the gigs in his grandeur style. This time the boys in the band have a trick to get him in the mosh pit…. cause they know he’s after more than just bling-bling and tunes….quick….before he gets to the monster missysisters…..
“Heh! I need to stratify my predicamental propulsion with precipitationaly grandified gainification.”
With gas prices soaring, our friend Emilio Barretta Dell’oro here is having trouble staying afloat in our current global black market. Human trafficking has fallen on especially hard times. There’s simply less money to be made shipping large quantities of human overseas. Perhaps our friend Emilio will begin looking into a new line of work.
Twiggums used the curling iron to touch up his beard, and twisting from side to side eyed the wisps on the back of his head. A few adjustments and they were out sufficiently far, although, he thought, I could get extensions.
When he was finally satisfied – he put up the Gorgon-wax and grabbed a bottle of Green Glow. Gargling until his tongue was two degrees darker than the proper shade of chartreuse, he admired himself in the mirror.
“Aaaah.” He breathed into his palm and sniffed at the resultant stench. “Magnificent!”
He plunged his fingers into his favorite rings – clicking them together and grinning with wild delight. It was the last night before the first quarter of the Hamstrung Moon – a night for dancing and romancing! At the stroke of midnight all the eligible ladies in the land would be ready to find their mates!
He sauntered down the road, humming a few bars of “Stomping On the Savoy.”
This year… Twiggums was not planning on going home alone!
….This would be easy she thought. Especially because she had the best looks in all the land. Sarah was HOT! And she had very good taste in jewelry. She approached the new couple and scoffed at them.
“Hey Jimmy,” she said smoothly.
Jimmy looked up. Is she talking to me, he thought.
“Uh hey,” he replied.
Theresa and Jimmy were very confused. Sarah was rarely ever seen outside her castle and would never be seen around outcasts like them selves.
This must be a trick, Jimmy thought. “What do you want?”
“Why, I want you,” Sarah replied slyly.
Jimmy’s mouth hung open. Theresa gasped in shock. Theresa stood up and slapped Sarah in the face. Sarah had a short temper and would not stand for this. Sarah quickly delivered a punch straight to Theresa’s face and knocked her out.
“Out like a light” Sarah said joyfully.
Sarah whistled. Almost immediately after Jimmy heard the whistle, a swarm of locusts approached them.
“Take them both to my castle, I shall deal with them there,” Sarah ordered.
Jimmy and Theresa were taken away quickly by the locusts. There was only one known person in West Xylophone who was as strong as Sarah. But would this person come out of their cave? Would 200 rescue the helpless lovers.
To be continued…
DUN DUN DUN!!!!!
Wow im hanging on the edge of my seat.
Talk about bling with a fist full of rings and a beard that would sting if a kiss he was giving.
Josef had witnessed some strange things in his time installing satellite dishes on rooftops, but this took the cake.
Where they’d come from he had no idea. He was about to climb up onto the garage behind the Holiday Inn, when the three of them appeared as though out of nowhere.
Josef paused, one foot on the bottom rung of his ladder; the KRV-150C satellite receiver cradled protectively in his arms like a newborn baby. It was a lovely piece of kit. Capable of receiving 17 gigabits of data every second, beamed straight out of the sky. It wasn’t his baby. But all the same, he always felt a kind of paternal pride when he thought of all his dishes across the city, simultaneously receiving the signal from above, and feeding it into homes: Over 200 channels of premium quality entertainment.
The three men appeared before him exhausted and disorientated. They talked excitedly about lights in the sky and the completion of a long journey. They were looking for someone, but they were late. And they had important packages that had to be delivered.
The three huddled together, talked animatedly for a few moments, then turned to Josef. In turn, each dropped to one knee, and offered gifts to him from an ornamental box.
Surprised, Josef refused the gifts. They’d clearly got the wrong man. And where was the delivery note? But the three men would hear nothing of it. So eventually he gave in and took the gifts: Golden rings, some ointment for hair and beard, and a weird kind of gum that smelt good, but turned his tongue green.
In return he gave them the two Snickers and the Diet Coke he kept for emergencies in his toolbox. They seemed pretty happy and wandered off into the twilight.
Josef returned to his ladder, the KRV-150C tucked beneath one arm. High above his head, poised on the edge of space, XSAT4 glinted in bright sunshine as it raced the spinning globe to maintain its geostationary orbit.
Jimmy stripped on first one golden ring, then another one. He hesitated. Should he take that one of Mother, too? Before he could think more about it, his fingers had already stretched into the box and grabbed the opal-crowned piece of jewellery. Shrugging, he slipped it onto his fingers.
Tonight was a night to end all nights. One of those special ones that one would never forget. One of those, whose memories would always stay in the heart and every once in a while slip out to walk through the windings of the head.
He closed the buttons of his newly-bought shirt one by one. Slowly, not that he would miss one by accident. He wanted to make sure he would look his best tonight, that’s why he had searched for what seemed ages to find THE shirt. It was of a brilliant shade of white, all the while soothing the eyes. As white as the petal of a rose.
After Jimmy had pulled on his perfectly pressed pants, he marveled at himself in the mirror. Wonderful. All was done to make this evening just perfect. He checked his wallet one last time before he turned out his mobile phone and walked out of his house.
The walk was not too long, so Jimmy was able to smell the air thoroughly. Its heavy smell of the blossoming trees, coupled with the piercing stench of the cars passing by seemed like perfume to his nostrils. He watched the neon lights of the buildings fly by as he walked down the streets. Only a few steps were seperating him from his goal…
He paid for a ticket and, folding it carefully before tucking it into his shirt pocket, he strolled inside. The line in front of the only booth inside the building dissolved quickly and he decided to buy a bottle of water and some snacks to still any feelings of appetite or thirst he might have. Casually walking up the stairs, he grinned in anticipation.
His seat was covered in that certain red plush that made you wish you could attach yourself to this place forever. Jimmy sunk inside and smiled pleasantly. There were a lot of other people in the room who talked in low voices. He knew well that, like him, they couldn’t wait anymore for the spectacle to begin.
Finally, the lights faded into a pleasant darkness, smelling of butter, sugar and aftershave. In the darkness, letters were lighting up. Jimmy’s eyes widened as he savored every inch of the white letters that said…
“Lord of the Rings: The monstership of the Ring”. Oh, how he loved fantasy movies!
Ignoring the snores from the bed, he scrolled down the page, shaking his shaggy head in amazement at the stories. He reached absently over to Stefan’s calendar, pulled off a page, and ate it, lingering over the delicious main number (which was juicy and red). The monster chuckled to himself. Where does the week go, indeed.
When a monster gets peckish, there are just never enough days in the week.
stefan, he look like the cover monster. maybe its his evil twin brother, hugo helio. also know as h.h.
If only 199# had a fedora with a feather at the top and some chicks he would be the scariest gangsta EVER.
why is videos not working it is getting annoying
sup y’all, i love ur monsters!!! I’ve watched them all! i even convinced my Grade 7 teacher to play one everyday at school for a week and a half!
camo loves you!